Backseat Driver

I'm not sure if I've made this point in a previous post, or perhaps during a personal conversation with any of you readers, but something tells me that I was once an advocate of taking nothing for granted. I suppose I'm retracting such a statement. I have my reasons, of course, for stepping back on words I'd once sworn by, and I plan on briefly sharing them. Without spilling into the confines of personal matters and inappropriate namedropping, taking things for granted has become increasingly more desirable to me. Over the past months, as social circles have expanded and subsequently became less and less mature (childish, even, in their approaches and handlings of certain situations), there was a lot of emphasis on telling everybody how you feel when you feel it and why - take nothing for granted, leave nothing unsaid. Needless to say, unmitigated disaster soon ensued. Such has lead to me rethink my philosophical stance regarding some things. I'll share them with you now, but be warned, unless I receive comments and/or critiques on the viewpoints I take, I'll continue telling myself that the whole world (or at least my readers) agrees with me. You wouldn't want to fuel an already outrageous ego, would you?

As I was saying, taking things for granted is wholly underrated. Certain things should be expected, and it should be acknowledged so. Countless times I've held witness to relationships in which conversation was brutally forced and sloppily conducted. The problem: people continually assume that their significant other doesn't want to speak, doesn't care about their problems, wants nothing to do with what they have to say. They live their joined lives walking the fine line between awestruck love and broken-hearted despair. I'm warning them now, if respected and concerned conversation isn't taken for granted, trouble is brewing. Successful relationships rely solely on the intimacy and legitimacy of conversation, as well as the mutual acceptance that my problems will be just as entertained as yours. Take it for granted. Take it for granted and expect nothing less than real conversation. Expect nothing less than constant availability to share a thought, gripe a complaint, or any meaningless bitty that has nothing to with anything. If a couple is unable to do so, to take flowing conversation for granted, then it probably isn't wise to be a couple. It just isn't. If you have reason to disagree with my thoughts, please, tell me how I'm wrong and how you're right. I'll be more than happy to listen - but don't expect me to change my mind. It's hard to sway someone who knows they're correct.

My message to people abroad (because I know the influence of my blog is far-reaching); enter into relationships and friendships in which you'll be able to take things for granted. 'I love you' shouldn't have to be overstated. It should be assumed that relationships exist on the basis of already knowing such to be true. Actions, my friends, speak much louder than words. Yes, I know, the cliché was quite despicable, but it gets the point across. Irregardless, constant emotions rampages and lovey dovey signs of repulsive affection reveal one thing - flaw. Don't misunderstand me, I'll be the last one to condemn affection, but relying upon physical reassurances of a relationship is anything but healthy. In fact, if such is the case, and I'm willing to say it bluntly, that relationship has no future, and had no past.

I suppose I'm saying, in a roundabout way, that friendships and relationships in which things aren't able to be taken for granted are useless. I'm not sure if that's my intention, but I certainly won't deny it. Until we live in a society where so much emphasis isn't placed on instant and constant gratification, I'll stick to my skeptical perch. It's ok to assume your boyfriend of being compassionate and always willing to listen, it shouldn't have to be mentioned. If it's impossible to make such assumptions, to be always wondering and pondering if that someone wants to listen, I highly recommend re-examining your involvements.

Friends, happiness doesn't come from guessing and anticipating. It comes from reliability and rightful assumption. So, please, find someone you love and take them for granted. It's the best thing you could ever do.

FutterBingers: Candy For the Reading Impaired

I had a nice chat on the topic of writers block not too long ago. It obviously hasn't helped, seeing as that I'm feeling the beginnings of another incoherently rambling blog. Bothersome, indeed, is my inherent inability to captivate an audience, regardless of how desperately I try to do so. So, I've pondered and calculated and concluded that there really isn't any hope. Of course, I try to stay as positive as possible at all times, so I changed my mind and told myself that there isn't any hope most of the time. But there's always that slim chance of renewal and success. Perhaps the odds of stumbling upon a good idea, or an interesting one, will finally fall my way this post. It's ironic, however, that the posts in which I actually invest thought are the posts that nobody seems to give a damn about. Therefore, it came to mind that I might start revealing interesting insights into the personal life of yours truly. I soon realized that my preference of cherry to pumpkin pie isn't that stimulating, so I gave up on personalizing my blog. Not long after my momentary relapse did it occur that I might attempt talking about other people's lives. But, come to think of it, I remembered that I didn't care. Strike two. As I teetered dangerously close to the brink of total writer's collapse, something had to be done - and fast. And here I am, frantically slopping some weak semblance of rational thought into a makeshift post that I hope generates an audience. Here goes nothing.

As a warning, I've decided it fair to inform you that I don't plan on stopping this time around. I'm not going to double check what I think, say, or write on this screen. It's a big fat waste of time. Let's face it, I could praise Hitler, Jesus, and Norman Mailer in the same sentence and who would notice? Not you, that's for sure. But please, don't mistake my cynicism for bitterness. I happen to love the ability to say what I please and rock the boat - it's just a tad depressing that there aren't any passengers aboard my vessel. But, nonetheless, I've accepted the role of the token starving artist (which I happen to fulfill rather poorly, because I don't feel my words to be art, per se). Here I am, wailing away at this helpless keyboard, muffling its cries. I can actually hear it sometimes, saying: "Sean, just stop. No one gives a damn. And I'm tired of you always beating up on me." So, being the compassionate person that I am, I produced an obnoxiously long entry that not only hurt the keyboard, but every reader I don't have. Yes, it's true. Some poor child in Madagascar, eating banana peels for brunch, cringes every time I opine. Why? I have no idea. Why don't you ask him.

In some attempt to properly transition into my next rational thought, I've decided that the recipe for success in life is to burn whatever cookbooks you may have. No, I don't mean literal cookbooks (God forbid you destroy that heir loom recipe for Chicken Divan). I'm specifically referring to any advice you may receive from anyone else that deals with how you live your life. Except my advice, that is. It's imperative that you heed my advice. Of course, I'm predisposed to feeling that way simply because I've followed my own advice my whole life. See how far it's gotten me? Don't worry, I can't either.

It's at this point in time where I scratch my head and I wonder what the hell I'm talking about. I'm sure that all of you have been doing so for the past few paragraphs, so don't mind me while I join the club. Quite the mystery, it is, how I can rampantly blab about meaningless things for such an extended period of time. It's a stumper in and of itself why I do it, not to mention how. I don't believe I can answer either of those questions honestly. Though, I suppose, I'd be more than happy to think of a few nice lies. I can at least make it seem as though I know what I'm doing. Good luck with that, Sean.

Well, somehow I've drained the innards of my mind onto the page for yet another post. How I've managed to fill the confines of this site with so many useless factoids and opeds, I don't know, but something tells me that I kind of like not knowing what's going to come out next. You might be surprised to know that I'm usually the last one aware of what I think. How that works, I haven't the slightest. But somehow, day after day, and with the rare week-long excursion to places other than the world wide web, I've been able to consistently provide you loyal readers with more than adequate amounts of mindless drivel. It's a job I've come to love - well, sort of, in a weird, twisted way. So, as I sign off an go about my life for another 24 or so hours, I leave you with a word for (or from, in this case) the wise.

...check back with me later, I can't remember them.

What To Do

Theoretically, at least judging from the behavior of people these days, Thanksgiving should be an obsolete holiday. Our lives suck, we have no friends, no one to love us, and our country is doomed. Maybe it's a slight exaggeration, but if we stop and take a look around, it's what we see - it's the norm. Regardless, I've taken it upon myself to make sure that Thanksgiving sticks to its mission statement for at least one more year. However, in order to do so, there has to be some cooperation on your part. Here's what I need you to do: I need you all to take a break from the despairs of average living (whether you're a deprived teen or a going-nowhere adult) and let Thanksgiving do it's job. That's all. It's really not quite difficult. I know, it's hard to thankful for a lonely existence, but if you're not thankful for it, then don't think about it. For one single day, take the time to thank your lungs for giving you life. Thank your brain for giving you thought (whether it be educated or stupid is not my call). Thank your family for giving you an opportunity, in birth, to do something with your life - to have life. There are so many things that we fail to see that make the bread and butter of Thanksgiving. We just don't take the time to notice them.

It's become the American tradition to take things for granted. Who cares what freedom really costs, who even knows? We never quite understand that tomorrow could evade our eyes. The sun could easily sink beyond the horizon and never arc back to greet us in the morning. If we'd become a little more conscious of our own mortality, we'd have a lot more for which to be grateful. We wouldn't waste our time arguing and fighting and ignoring one another. Nor would we busy ourselves with the expectations of everyone else, or the business of everyone else. What purpose would there be in doing so? There'd be no need to plan for the future, to fight and expect time to heal the wounds. The truth is, friends, time slips away unnoticeably until the stark contrast of night and day fills the sky and we don't know what to do. We only have so much - time, that is, and it would foolish to let it rampantly tear us apart. Be thankful, friends, for knowing that time isn't always on our side - in fact, it's our bitter enemy. In fact of that fact, I'm probably wasting it right now. But, to spread a little light you have to take a little darkness, that's what I always say.

I apologize for so abruptly ending this message, but there's turkey to be shared and love to be eaten (or something). I leave you now with a quote from the long dead sage, Joseph Sean Moylan.

"Time sucks, so make the most of it."

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Left Still Doesn't Get It

By Patrick J Buchanan

With the exit polls projecting an electoral landslide for John Kerry, the shocking night of Nov. 2-3 appears to have unhinged much of the American Left.

In a post-election essay, "The Unteachable Ignorance of the Red States," novelist Jane Smiley rants:

Ignorance and bloodlust have a long tradition in the United States, especially in the red states ... The history of the last four years shows that red state types ... prefer to be ignorant ... They are virtually unteachable.

Yet, Smiley assures us, the ignoramuses of the Right will get it all back:

[W]e have to remember that threats to democracy from the right always collapse. Whatever their short-term appeal, they are borne of hubris and hatred, and will destroy their purveyors in the end.

Here is Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne:

We are aghast at the success of a campaign based on vicious personal attacks, the exploitation of strong religious feelings ... And we are disgusted that an effort consciously designed to divide the country did exactly that.

Here is The Nation:

The checks and balances on presidential powers contemplated by the country's Founders are in tatters ... Roe v. Wade and a host of other protections of basic human rights are at risk. Bush is bound to try to assist the Christian right in its fantastical efforts to "Christianize" public institutions.

In these passages one detects a fear and loathing, a culture of contempt on the Left that their opponents are all blinkered and brutal bigots. But if liberals, reincarnated as "progressives," so despise the Right, they need to understand why the Right is rejoicing every bit as much in their humiliation as it is in Bush's victory. As Jimmy Breslin titled his book on Watergate, this election was "When the Good Guys Finally Won."

Smiley says the appeal of the Right is rooted in "hatred." But hatred of Bush was the most powerful animus of 2004. The Windsurfer – whether on his snowboard or his $5,000 bike, or out killing poor geese in his "camos" – evoked not hatred, but derisory laughter.

Dionne says conservatives sought to "divide the country." But is that not what an election is about, dividing the country?

"A division of the house," as it is called at the Oxford Union, takes place after each debate. One side leaves the room, the other remains, the votes are counted.

E.J. talks about the Right's exploitation of religious feelings. But it was not the Right that put gay marriage on the agenda. That honor goes to the kooky jurist in Kerry's home state, Chief Justice Margaret Marshall, who ordered the legislature and governor to hand out marriage licenses to homosexuals. Marshall inspired Mayor Gavin Newsom of San Francisco to hand out licenses to lesbians and gays in violation of a law that had passed 2-to-1 in a state referendum. Even Barney Frank urged Newsom not to break the law.

To defend their society from a Supreme Court that had just declared sodomy a constitutional right – and might impose Marshall's opinion on us all – conservatives petitioned voters to put on the ballots of a dozen states laws or amendments to ban gay marriage. Then, they went to the polls to approve them in landslides.

How many thrashings will it take to convince the Left that people do not want homosexual couplings treated like traditional marriage?

The Nation talks of the "basic human rights" involved in Roe v. Wade. But what about the basic human right to life of the 43 million unborn who have perished in the womb since Roe v. Wade?
Is that of no consequence or concern to liberals and leftists?

The Nation wails that the "checks and balances on presidential powers contemplated by the country's Founders are in tatters," as Republicans now control the White House and both houses of Congress. But Democrats controlled the White House and both houses of Congress from 1933 to 1947, from 1949 to 1953, from 1961 to 1969, from 1977 to 1981 and from 1993 to 1995.

Was The Nation fearful, then, for our democracy?

The Nation notwithstanding, it is not conservatives but the Left that has relied upon the least democratic of our governmental institutions – the judiciary – to impose its ideology.
It was an unelected Supreme Court – answerable to no one – that legalized pornography, declared nude dancing protected freedom of expression, expelled God and the Ten Commandments from public schools, declared abortion and sodomy to be constitutional rights, outlawed the death penalty and imposed the idiocy of forced busing for racial balance on entire cities. No legislature would have dared vote for all this.

The Right does not demand that the children of atheists be made to recite prayers or pledge allegiance to the flag in public schools. They only ask that their children be allowed to do so.

Whether Bush deserved re-election may be debatable, but last Tuesday, our "progressives" certainly got what they deserved.

Just Another Victim

I promised myself that I'd never go back on my word. I promised myself that I'd never involve my personal life in this blog. I'm going to keep that promise. In the meantime, however, I'm going to make a defiantly overdramatic stand against the people who do. I've never been one to understand the mindset of our times. It seems that promotion of constant complaining is everywhere I turn. Everyone's entirely overwhelmed by the pain of the knives in their backs. That comes as a complete shock to me, to be honest. One would think that the pain of having your manhood amputated would decisively surpass that of being 'stabbed in the back'. I suppose I'm wrong. Obviously I'm wrong. I've never been so ashamed to wake each day and get slapped in the face by someone else’s problems. Sure, call me insensitive, call me selfish, call me whatever, but until I'm faced with a problem that's actually...a problem...then I just don't care. Here's the deal. The entire world assumes that the worst days of their lives are a gazillion times tougher than everyone else’s. I'd like to call upon a precedent to further my point. A while back I wrote on the subject of pride and perspective (and the inherent lack of both). It's entirely relevant to generate the topic again, because, as I see it, it's more than necessary. There's something amazingly wrong when a man's biggest problem is that no one else cares about his problem. In translation, he gripes because no one listens to him gripe. Overly sensitive people aren't attractive. Overly dramatic people are just annoying. And here I live, in one annoyingly ugly world. I guess I'm being a hypocrite, but I'm scoring myself some points just for admitting to it. I'm complaining about other people's complaining, but hopefully my intonations speak for themselves. My intention isn't to whine and moan and hope that people listen. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I would hope to assume that I'll have some impact on the way people think. By pointing out just how trivial they really are, I might accomplish something - although my hopes aren't high.

I've come to believe, perhaps through experience, that there's a zenith to every situation. Certain situations, especially those relating to poor whining babies in a death match with the world, have a common pinnacle. That pinnacle, my friends, is the creation of drama with the intent of solving every problem. Here's my issue (yes, my issue) with this. Sure, it's honorable to want to plant flowers in everyone's garden and sing them songs and make everyone feel lovely and nice, but solving problems with one giant swoop and expecting it to work is completely idiotic. To further this, simply planning to solve problems that aren't even problems just makes things worse. Don't even try to deny it. If people would pause for a moment, stop acting like little girls, and realize that the problem they have would be a desirable situation for someone much worse off, then I think we'd stand a chance at sanity. Until then, the going won't be so easy. If something isn't broken, then please don't fix it. The last thing anyone needs is meddling, and though the intentions are good, the results just suck. It's truth, folks. Here's what I propose: social isolationism. It worked globally for America for a while, so why not try it out. Rather than expecting everyone to get involved in everyone else’s lives, let's try minding our own business. If we worry about ourselves, we could actually do something right. It might be a lofty concept, but I'm standing by it.

I'm often asked when one can tell things have just gone too far. Ok, so I'm not often asked that, I've actually never been asked that, but I do often think about it. In case you were wondering, here's how I'd answer the question. Things have gone too far when someone's social isolationism aggravates someone who isn't or shouldn’t be involved in any way, shape, or form in the dealings of someone else’s life. Sometimes this can involve groups of people I like to call "big whiny losers", or the singular form, "big whiny loser". These losers live by a philosophy, a code of conduct, that requires of them but one thing - to spread useless information about useless things to people who don't give a damn. Friends, that's their biggest mistake. They automatically assume that people care. However, the unfortunate thing is that when a group of losers gets together, it's one big session of positive affirmation - plain old reinforcement of an already bad ideology. Wonderful. There's no escaping it.

So here I am today, spreading the gospel of isolationism for the sake of the free world. Stand up, people with logic, people with common sense! Join hands and fight back the oppressive forces of big, whining, complaining losers who hate their miserable lives but wouldn't know a problem if it dropped a stinking load of poop in their granny panties. These people need to be contained for the sake of sanity near and far, for the sake of you, and at least for the sake of me. Trust me, there's nothing scarier than a man who acts like a PMS-ing woman. It's just not natural. But, I suppose, in the end we're all just victims of the same trivial problems. However, if that were true, what the hell would I write about?

Oh wait, I must have forgotten:

When the world hates your guts, you always have something to say.