Your Dreams are Your Ticket Out

Friends and family, I've decided to revisit my roots. The prodigal son has made his way back home, and although no one's slain the fatted calf just yet, I should probably tell them I had Subway a few miles back.

A lot's been happening in the world, but of course nothing to shock my readers (who are either blindly ignorant or incredibly strong-willed, or perhaps both). We've got everyone's favorite democrats rallying around the late Coretta Scott King, although I can't quite differentiate between her and Paul Wellstone. Or Rosa Parks, for that matter. Yes, it's the same old rhetoric from the same old folks. Jimmy Carter and his wonderful allusions to the NSA and the dreadfully infamous wiretaps must've struck Ted Kennedy awfully ironically. It was his brothers who ordered wiretaps of Mrs. King's late husband, was it not? If there's one incredibly reliable characteristic of our liberal buddies, it's their constant ability to belittle the grace in everything. Paul Wellstone's timely death was for all intents and purposes a conservative bash-fest. Rosa Parks' funeral was, well, a conservative bash-fest. Coretta Scott King's ceremony was, besides a conservative bash-fest, possibly the most disgusting display of irreverence and tastelessness I've ever witnessed. While I'm forced to credit our President for withstanding that brutal attack, it's a shame he didn't walk out.

As much as it tickles me to watch the democrat's usual election-year combustion process, it's important for conservatives to be just as much on the offensive as the democrats are offensive. It's hardly unusual for soft-skinned GOP boys to let their best chances for supreme retribution slip to the wayside. This, of all years, should be of the utmost importance. Although the liberalness of our favorite liberals consistently does more harm than good for the DNC cause, it's crucial that it's not taken for granted by conservatives.

Around the world, we find the Religion of Peace hastily securing its reputation as the most violently peaceful faith in existence. While Ronald McDonald gets dragged through the streets of urban Pakistan (I'm suspecting for more than peddling cold Sausage McMuffin's to unsuspecting Muslims), the uproarious response to anti-Islam cartoons rages on. The nonchalant attitude of the French in particular, although refreshingly unbiased, has left something to be desired in terms of PR. But, now that Americans aren't the only ones dealing with the scourge of radical Islam, I find a hard time scrounging up sympathy. Radical Muslims make the extreme Christian right seem like a bunch of hippies with long hair and strawberry sunglasses, yet the comparisons still remain. It's strange, but having Kanye West adorned with the crown of thorns and gracing the cover of Rolling Stone should very well upset practicing Christians around the country. But something tells me that no one really cares. Here's the inherent difference between extreme Christianity and extreme Islam - about 5,300 dead Americans. If it takes Mohammed wearing a bomb-shaped turban to ignite that little spark of truth, so be it.

Not much has changed in my absence. Radical Islam remains hell-bent on destroying the world, and radical liberals remain hell-bent on destroying their chances. One of the two doesn't seem all that bad.

Cheers.