The Song You Wish You Knew

I'm going to start this blog with the tone of an adult male, with tones of passive embarrassment, and obvious obligation. It's just a forewarning. There comes a point in the life of every young person when a car radio is turned on and experienced for the very first time. I know you're all wondering, "Where the hell is he going with this," but hear me out. I'm not referring to listening to the radio with your mommy on the way to Sear's for a Two-for-One sale. I mean the radio. The only time a radio is truly put to use in a natural state is when playing songs that everyone knows - that everyone enjoys. Obviously, in today's musical world, it's impossible to enjoy anything without enjoying it with someone else. Therefore, enjoying the songs that everyone knows is out of the question if enjoyed alone. I highly doubt that made a shred of sense, but hopefully I can find it in myself to clarify. As I said so gracefully before, there are but few songs that make the car radio's job worthwhile. Rather than stating the obvious, and simply listing the songs that deserve a berth on this sacred list, I'll allow you, my highly literate and multi-faceted readers, to assume the role of compilation maker. Seeing as though you're probably not yet comfortable with the burden of such overwhelming responsibility, I'll get to the point of this blog. To be as cryptic as possible, question form seems to be in order. What problem is so great to interfere with the singing of a classic song blared over the car radio?

Ok, I've caused enough confusion thus far, so I'll explain. What I meant to imply was that the problems of our daily lives simply don't have the strength to drown out the car radio. Of course, a good song amazingly transforms into an excellent song when played to a carload of close friends, which means that no problem, no matter the severity or the weight, has enough brute force to keep each and every pair of lips closed. Try it the next time you drive with your friends. Turn on some Bohemian Rhapsody, or even some Nelly, and sit there motionless. I guarantee you right now, unless you're in a hearse, surrounded by a bunch of closest dead buddies, it'll be next to impossible not to sing. There's an uncanny aura surrounding the car radio. As it sits, so discreetly, just waiting to be pushed and cranked, just waiting to belt out a former #1, it's so unbecoming. Compare it to Clark Kent, probably the most unbecoming alien superhero the world has produced. Obviously, behind the thick-rimmed glasses, the combed hair, and the clueless demeanor is the salvation of the Metropolitan world, but Clark Kent doesn't exactly exude superhuman strength. Neither does the car radio (on more than one level). Who could imagine that a small piece of electronic something-or-other would ever have the ability of uniting a group of people in song and throwing their problems to the shoulder of US 10? But hey, square-rimmed glasses are quite the disguise.

Unfortunately, as life tends to behave in ways unbeknown to anyone with a pulse, problems do arise. They rise above the decibels pounded from the speakers, they rise above the scratchy, shrill, or olive oil voices, and they rise above the unity that the radio brings. Anyone have any idea of what problems could possibly have such power? No, it's not kryptonite. I'm sorry, but we left the superman metaphor in the previous paragraph. This problem, this problem of such magnitude comes in the form of those songs that no one ever really knows. Now, don't even pretend like you've never encountered that. There are always songs that seem unable to be taught, unable to be memorized, and certainly unable to be sang aloud. It's rather funny, and I suppose I do have to return the superman metaphor (lucky you), but Superman isn't the bringer of perfection. In his quest for truth, justice, and the American way, he has to step on some toes, whether he likes it or not. Seeing as that the car radio has already been assumed to be the Superman of modern automobile devices, it must be true for the radio as well. Again, let me explain the logic that has gotten me so far in life. Even the car radio doesn't have full control of the songs that it plays. Sometimes it will in fact play that one song that people just don't know. Pour some what was that? If you wanna come and take a ride with me, three who in the where with the what what? Get the point? The thing is this; there comes a time when real problems will decide to show their pretty faces. Sometimes the one object that brings the unity, brings the songs we all know and love, can also bring the vague, abject lyrics. However, we, as devotees to the grand cause of the car radio, have to find it absolutely necessary to stand firm in the light of such dilemmas. Besides, it's come to be well known that the songs with lyrics seemingly impossible to master all have fairly easy melodies. Sometimes we have no choice but to hum and just give our lips a well deserved rest. It seems rather foolish to make a fool out of yourself by attempting miserably at singing a song you don't know. It's equally as foolish to attempt solving problems to which you have no solution. There's not a thing wrong with humming the beat, and taking life as it comes. Sometimes it's all we can do to hold firm through the storm. It's easy to use the little presets on the radio panel, switching aimlessly to a song of lesser quality, with stunningly easy lyrics, but not so much to sit through a song you don't know. I suppose I'm wandering myself, somehow ending up at a conclusion to this blog. But, before I write myself off, I'm taking this time to make myself heard. Problems will come. Some will be silenced by the unpolished, fantastic sound of united voices, and others will leave us stumped and struggling to find our rhythm. But we owe it to the car radio, and we owe it to ourselves to wait, to wait for that classic song that brings us together once again with voices high, low, deep, and squeaky.

So go ahead. Give your lips a rest. Hum the tune.

Besides, who would want to pour some sugar on me, anyway?