I remember a time when five years seemed it would never arrive. I remember thinking, or being told, on the first day of fourth grade that in five years I'd make my way to high school. I remember the five years that took me from adolescence to young adulthood, and I remember thinking it would never come. It struck me the other day that, five years from now, I could very well find myself happily married, enraptured in the college life, or naively searching for some (for any) purpose to a wayward life. Five years into the future, for the longest time, always placed me somewhere I expected to go - eighth grade graduation, my sixteenth birthday, high school dances. But I never expected being in a position where, five years from now, things could be amazingly different. Being a creature of regimented habit, the possibility of losing my only grasp on family, friends, love, indifference, and comfortable sleep has yet to sink in - and probably won't. Imagining myself living away from the confines of my home isn't quite dreadful, but certainly awkward. Imagining myself married, possibly with children, is something I can't even begin to fathom. Maybe I'm not ready to fathom it.
I, along with many of my peers, find myself on the cusp of swift inclinations and depressingly slow declinations. The next five years of my life might very well dictate the terms of my mid-life crisis come 47. The next five years of my life might very well supply me with the fuel to live as happily and prosperously as one can safely do so. The next five years might strike me with tragedy, loss, pain, and regret. But they also may not. It's hard to predict the comings and goings of a life that's yet to be lived. Sadly, as life is constructed in stages, I'm exiting the first and venturing towards the inescapable. Childhood slowly fades into memory - and it's a somewhat shocking, slightly melancholy realization. Losing my childhood to the confines of dusty photo albums, shaky home movies, and the mere abilities of my own memory takes courage - it takes change. Change, as life forces us to recognize, comes at the expense of something precious, something to behold, something we all have to lose. It's something we have to store in little boxes deep within our minds. It's something we have to teach our children and our parents while we have the chance. It's something we should never forget, and it's something we should never take too lightly. It's childhood.
Take care of it.
8 Comments:
I like this entry Sean. --Laura
I never knew someone who could pull the deepest of heartstrings and hit it right at the core. You always seem to put my feelings and prolly others right on paper. If I am like the rest of your faithful blog readers this is how I go about my day...in the morning I check my mail...then load up your page and hope and pray that I will get somemore snippets of your brilliance. It's simply amazing. Keep it up. How is the college writing going? Any luck? Take care...Adrian
i agree with adrian, i'm constantly checking to see if you've written anything more because no matter what you write about, its always interesting and always hits home. i really liked this entry, especially because i know the uncertainty you're talking about, and the sad notion of leaving childhood behind. but don't worry sean, even though things five years from now are uncertain now, everything always turns out for the best. for now, lets just hope we can remember enough of childhood to know how to live as adults. please keep writing, i, along with others, jump at the chance to hear more of your thoughts
hey sean-danowski here and i have some input. i being a junior, having suddenly realized that i have only one year left of high school and basically of my friends are leaving me. i want to go back to august and stay there. i dont want you guys to leave. you are my sanity and the reason i actually want to go to DC, without the class of 05-im stuck trying to somehow make meaningless relationships with the idiots that invaded my class while you guys are all chillaxing at college. argh, thats it-im gonna kidnapp every last one of you (that i like-no man beasts allowed) and make us all stay young together. growing up isn't allowed because often times, growing up means growing apart and i couldn't deal with that. so sean, don't leave me and umm gimme a call sometime over break and we'll hang cuz everyone else is outta town. <333. your favorite 06' friend, Sar-
IT'S BEEN SINCE MARCH 12! AHH!
hey dude, its been awhile since i commented, so i figured what the hell. i really enjoy reading ure writing it usually makes me take a second look at my life and re-evaluate whats really important right now... for instance we all freak out about that huge gov test, honestly, in the big scheme of things, it doesnt matter. if we pass, thats great, but if we fail its not going to kill us. hell, i failed the final and it didnt kill me, so a normal test wont even cause great injury. anyways, great entry, top noch and all that.
bill
Sean, you are a very good man.
Keep up the good work.
-Nick
Your real favorite 06 friend.
this kid is a geneous, he speaks the truth
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