If It Weren't So Funny, I Might Be Depressed

Or wait, maybe it's the reverse: if it weren't so depressing, it might be funny. Regardless, I won't waste my time (as I usually do) this time around. Because I happen to be a dilligent person - most of the time - I tend to commonly check the comments left on my posts. A side note: thank you to my loyal fan base who've noticed my lack of patience and countered by commenting like crazies. It's greatly appreciated. Getting back on track, a recent comment left on my blog, from an anonymous source (of course), displayed a keen dislike for my conservative tendencies. Before I jump to conclusions and blatantly defame this person's character by labeling them "liberal", I'll play it safe and make no assumptions. "Liberal" is a rather strong word - one that shouldn't be thrown about and taken lightly. I, for one, don't like to blame other people of being such an atrocious thing unless they ask for it. It need be said that anyone who feels my opinions to be "bullshit" - and with such respectable diction - should know that I take such feelings as compliments of my brain. If this person so happens to be a liberal, of course they'll think I have no idea what I'm saying. I expect that. I might have no idea what I'm talking about - but I'm not stupid. I read the NYTimes, particularly the op-eds, I had a free subscription to The Nation for almost a year. I know what the radical left is plotting - it's not a secret. Before I delve into a nonsensical, demagogish rampage, I should defend the sanctity of internet blogging (and my volunteering to maintain this site) and say that if evidence were required to back up everything I say, then I would accept nothing less than a regular pay check. However, the evidence is there, and if people went looking, rather than "going with their heart" and telling me I'm wrong, the world would be a better place.

The truth is this, friends, I don't speak unless I know what I'm saying is right. So when I get a notice saying that I have no basis for what I say, and especially when that notice has a horribly blue taint to it, I know I'm doing something right. In regards to my being intolerant and ignorant to the plights and messages of liberals everywhere, I feel otherwise. In fact, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the liberals of the world for providing me something to write about. And for making me feel good about myself (I don't want to forget that). You know, I've been contemplating the plethora of reasons for brash and irrational liberalism. Maybe they're so angry because they know we're right, which would mean that they're to proud to admit they're wrong. Who knows. But this I do know: every morning I wake up and blow a small kiss to my Ted Kennedy shrine. Without Old Ted, and his fellow compatriots, I'd have no one to laugh at. Of course, being in full realization of my own faults, and the faults of those within the conservative movement, I have no problem laughing at myself and others. This is a quality that liberals feel they can do without. Why? I haven't the slightest. Perhaps it's a direct reflection of the bitter lack of pesonality - expertly displayed by John F. Kerry and Al Gore. But wait, that doesn't account for the insanity of James Carville. Well, maybe there's is no explanation. Either way - they don't have it. I do.

I find it amusing how any baseless ideas, formed on my own (yes, and I can wipe myself, too) are immediately passed off as mindlessness passed on to me by my parents and family. This just proves to me how detached some readers can be. For example, my mother was raised in a family of democrats, and has never uttered a politcal word as long as I've been alive. I have great reason to believe that she voted Kerry for president. My father, who's not a US citizen, has no vote, and comes from a family in Ireland caught up in the anti-Bush rampages sweeping Western and Northern Europe. My grandparents are New Deal Democrats. One of their children is liberal brainiac who drives a Honda. Another is a retired Vet who leans to the left. I'm wondering now if my family's ideology has had any effect on the formation of my own ideas and such. My instinct tells me "no". But then again, I'm just full of "bullshit" and have no idea what I'm actually saying.

One of the more comedic passages from the comment was as follows: You don't even seem to see the other side. newsflash: there is another one, and it's more optimistic, more hopeful, and more christian than the conservative right ever will be

One: Preferably, I would choose not to see the other side. But, being the way it is, I have to, and sometimes I seek it out.

Two: Yes, the liberal message is more hopeful and optimistic. And yes, it's the packaged downfall of America.

Three: This happens to be the more absurb thing I've heard in a long time. If the left are better Christians than the conservative right, they do a masterful job of hiding it. In fact, it's almost hard to believe considering that 79% of the Jewish vote went to the Democratic Party in each of the last four elections. While I stop myself short of directly judging the Christianity of Christians, my opposition obviously does not.

While intolerance runs rampantly through the conservative ranks, perportedly anyway, it seems to be a mere scratch in the liberal persona. But, if I were tolerated by liberals, I'd be a happy, peaceful man. Since I'm not, and because conservatives are war-mongers and haters, I enjoy the bashing. Peace is overrated, as we always say.

To wraps things up here, I'd like to reverberate my gratitude for the liberal party, and to my brave, anonymous reader who decided to steer me right and show me my flaws. While I recognize that I'm full of hot air and baseless opinions, they simply have more base than yours. It's funny, but that's fitting with the "conservative philosophy", is it not? We're just better than everyone else. And apparently we know it.