What The Hell Is The Matter?

It seems as if I'm having a hard time getting excited about anything lately. If someone could please tell me why, it would greatly appreciated. Please, someone share with me the fruits of their wisdom. Why is that I tell myself, "ok, Sean, today you're going to go school, and be happy all the time" and it sounds like a wonderful plan to me. Unfortunately, as is always the case nowadays, I get to school and just can't get enthused about anything! I come home, am forced to sit in front of a damn computer to tell someone how much I care about them when I could just as easily do it over the phone. But it must be easier to multi-task when you have free range of motion. Come on. It's just really tough sometimes to be excited about anything anymore. For one, I can't vote. It's nice to keep up on that fool Howard Dean, or that wacko Kucinich, but I can't vote. Come on. Half of the adults today care ten times less than I do, and they have the right to vote. Do they? Nope. How could you wave the right that millions of people don't have. Do they not realize how privileged we are? Do they not realize that people died to give us this right - this right that we so absent-mindedly waste? Ok, secondly, I haven't seen my girlfriend in about two weeks. The truth is, I miss her - desperately. I can't remember the last time we got together to watch a movie. I see her in the halls, yeah, for 30 seconds. I hope you all don't get the wrong impressions from me. Sure, I miss her, but I would, I know way, ask her to re-prioritize to put me on top of the list. I would never do that, it's just frustrating when she's so busy, and I'm not. I'm never busy, so it just emphasizes the fact that she's not here. Why? Because I spend a lot more time on my ass thinking about it. That's why. It's gotten to the point where I'll find myself doing weird things just to get my mind off it. It's pretty bizarre, but no one really seems to care. Who can I tell? "Hi, can I shovel your driveway? Yeah, I miss my girlfriend, and I need to get my mind off the loneliness. No? Ok, thanks anyway." Pretty pathetic. However, I do get the opportunity to "chat it up" on AIM. Big f*ckin whoop. Yeah, it's nice, and horribly convenient, but it's really impersonal. I really don't like having to wait until 11:00 pm on a Wednesday night to say "I miss you" to my girlfriend. But she doesn't really like to talk on the phone. I don't either, but I'd talk a mile a minute if I could get away from this piece of crap machine. It just does nothing for me anymore. Oh well. I guess I'm made to adapt. I've done it thus far, but never in such concentrated a setting.

I'll just push on. It's worth the while.