The Roaming Gnome

Just to start, please pay no attention to the title of this entry. It has no bearing, whatsoever, on the content or meaning of this blog.

To start off (again), I'm just going to let all of you know that today was basically the culmination of the past two-weeks of suckiness. Yep, you heard correct! Piss on Sean's Wheaties Days has made a triumphant return! Why not join the countless Americans who felt it overwhelmingly necessary to make my life a living hell today! Ya know somethin though? Today's horrific tendencies weren't really clear-cut. It was as if some shadow had enveloped my mind, putting me in some state of incredible passiveness. Fun stuff. Yeah. Right.

Today in Playwriting (yes, I take playwriting, so don't even think about bashing it) my teacher told me to take five minutes to answer this question. "What you would say if you finally had the chance to say it?" That's some intense stuff, and most of you would probably say that I'd just litter the page with 'f' words and other vulgarities, but no. I'd like to think that I took advantage of the situation, letting my pencil do the talking - an ambassador to the mind. I'll just share what I wrote. Please, no one take this personally. It's directed towards myself, I think. Why? I have no idea. I guess I work in pretty odd ways. Ladies and gentlemen, here's what I'd say if I finally had the chance to say it....

Why is it so hard to just tell me how you feel? Can it hurt that bad? Is sucking it up just gonna make everything all better? Sure as hell hasn't worked thus far. I find it hard to believe, after seeing no initiative whatsoever to make us better, that things can be OK. You know what I think? I think you, no, WE, are afraid, as a couple, as individuals, of letting go. And somehow, through the freakish confines of our minds, we're doing ourselves favors by keeping it all in. How the hell is that supposed to help anyone? How is PRETENDING to be happy supposed to justify not being happy? Well, it doesn't. You know the old cliche, you can't fit a square peg in a round hole, or however the hell that saying goes. I'm just trying to say that it's worth the risk to tell me how you feel. The truth should never be some menacing villain that forces us to hide behind lies for protection. Hell, know I'm guilty as charged. I'd lie to someone to make them feel good, is that healthy? Am I so afraid of the truthful repercussions? I think so. I seriously and honestly think so. Is it wrong to fear the truth? Is it at all beneficial to hide behind the "protection" of lies, of faked smiles to beget a smile? I just don't know.