The Cellular Telephone Craze

Alright, let's face it. I'm not exactly up to date with the latest fads and fashions. In fact, I can truly admit that I'm just now starting to wear an old seat-belt as a belt for my pants. I can also admit that I'm just now starting to get into pokemon! Hell, I'm also discovering the sensation known as pogs! Ok, no need to shout - I'll get on with it. To move towards some semblance of a point (and not to waste the precious seconds of your life, much like I'm doing now. It's rather funny, but you really have no choice but to keep reading if you wish to know what my direction is. Although, I suppose you could just click the welcoming 'x' at the top-right of your screen, and then be done with this, but why would you do that?) I'm just now being slapped in the face by the fact that EVERYONE has a cell phone. Yeah, I know, maybe I'm not Mr. Up-to-the-Minute, but look around! It's worse than ever! QUICK ANECDOTE TO AID THE POINT: As my appropriate disclaimer just announced, this is a quick little bit to aid me in relaying my point. As I was standing in line at CVS, perhaps a week or so ago, I found myself placed behind a mother and 6 month old baby. It just so happens that I looked down at my belongings, flipped through my wallet for fiscal adequacy, and looked up again to view the most hideous of all sights. The sixth month old kid, had reached into his small, diaper-stuffed shorts and pulled out a nice Cingular Wireless phone. On this nice Cingular Wireless Phone, he dialed his mommy's number to let her know that he had done the bad-baby-deed in his Huggies. Let me tell you, he sure as hell didn't need a cell phone to tell me that he crapped his pants. Anyone with a nostril could figure that one out - but that's the beside the point. I was in complete awe of what I had just witnessed. My arms went numb, dropping my $0.99 PowerAde all over the nicely carpeted floor, and I just stood there - stupefied. Needless to say, as events unfolded, I reacted in the usual manner whenever chaos is the ruling mindset. I ran for dear life, occasionally I unleashed the odd bellow or two. But I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. Until I was finally outside CVS. Then I walked to my car and drove home.

The fact is this: any and everybody has a cell phone. I can see the usefulness, of course. I'm addicted to it, and who isn't. It just seems that all of us cell phone users are over-grown children nursing on our mom's breast - it's a little harder to wean us. Besides, there's no replacement to a good cell phone. When you stop nursing, you get to taste the divine formula, and later than that, all sorts of nice milks. I personally don't prefer any of them. Rather odd.

Am I alone in the observation that cell phones are like omni-potent magnets for other cell phones? Yeah, I had the inkling feeling that I was, but that will not hamper my explanation. Wherever I am, of course accompanied by my trusty sidekick, Cell Phone, it always seems that someone else takes their cell phone out, looks at, and puts it back. On occasion, someone might take it out and call someone, or receive a call, or check the voicemail, or play a game, or this, or that, or this, or something else. But whenever! someone whips it out, everyone else in the room, who has a phone, follows suit. I fall prey to this epidemic every time it occurs. There's just something elusive and desirable about taking out the cell phone whenever someone else does first. Can I begin to explain it? Maybe. To me, it's the fact the person who takes out the cell phone is being cool. Of course, when it comes down to coolness, who wants to be outdone? So this leads to everyone else taking out their cell phones, and even if they're not turned on, putting it to their ears and mumbling some random jargon. However, a word to the wise, if you find yourself in one such experience, and your phone bears a striking resemblance to a VHS tape, just say no.

You must not be up with the times either.